Mainstream feminism constantly contradicts itself by asking women to play the role of the weak, ignorant victim whenever it suits their latest argument.
Hermmm. I have to say, reading this is wigging me out. This is the exact stance I've had about feminism but that I've gotten strange looks from both sides for. And it's also the reason why I can't agree with abortion. To tell people "I don't agree with legalized abortion because I'm a feminist" simply doesn't compute with most folks. Most people I know who don't agree with abortion don't because they "want to save the babies." Don't get me wrong; I want to save the babies, too. Let's save the babies. But you can't whip that out in the middle of a serious discussion about abortion and expect anyone to hear you. We have cultural problems that need readjusting. We can't burn Roe v Wade at the stake and expect all the unwanted babies to live happily ever after. It's more complex that that. So, discussions like the ones you're having here, paired with positive shifts by the Democratic party's stance on abortion — that, hello, we might want also to focus on reducing the demand for abortion in the first place as a way of saving the babies — are positive steps.
I've been thinking along these same lines recently. Although for slightly different reasons. I am the 5th out of 6 children in my family and my Mom once told me that her Dr. told her after the 4th child to 'stop having babies' Boy, I am sure glad she didn't follow that advice :) I am about to give birth any day now (please God any day now!) to my 4th child. Only one of these children was born under spectacular circumstances. With my first child, I was in my 20's , in a terrible relationship and his dad left us when he was 6 mos. old. My 2nd child, and only girl was born under the best situation. My husband and I were so willing to parent (and seemingly it was NOT going to happen naturally) that we had been going through the adoption process for 2yrs+ with one country closing its adoption services, we finally settled on adopting a foster child(ren). Well, just as we got the notice to meet 2 siblings, I realized that I was 'late' and took a preg test. Positive! Happy! Elated! When I became preg. again 5 mos later with my 3rd, we were kind of freaked out actually but happy to have my little boy. Now, preg again and in my 40s( Which my Dr. is only too happy to point out- all. the. darn. time.) And now, the comments I heard from people when I had 3 have been kicked up a notch so that is annoying on top of everything else. Each of these, out-of-wedlock, babies too close together, being advanced maternal age(as my doc likes to say, grrr) are reasons given for abortion. None of them could ever have been reason enough for me. You see, with each child, I knew that I would have to seriously lie to myself (by denying their humanity and my maternal relationship to them) in order to bring any harm to them and I couldn't bring myself to do that. And the fact that after first round of freaking out , I knew I already loved each child from the depths of my heart, kept me from 'exercising my right to choose' even though that option was available each time. Anyways, thank you for sharing your story and allowing me to share mine.
That's radical feminism in a nutshell. Tell girls they can do/be anything while encouraging perpetual victimhood, then attack the one thing we can do that men can't-give birth. Makes LOTS of sense, huh. LOL.
Hermmm. I have to say, reading this is wigging me out. This is the exact stance I've had about feminism but that I've gotten strange looks from both sides for. And it's also the reason why I can't agree with abortion. To tell people "I don't agree with legalized abortion because I'm a feminist" simply doesn't compute with most folks. Most people I know who don't agree with abortion don't because they "want to save the babies." Don't get me wrong; I want to save the babies, too. Let's save the babies. But you can't whip that out in the middle of a serious discussion about abortion and expect anyone to hear you. We have cultural problems that need readjusting. We can't burn Roe v Wade at the stake and expect all the unwanted babies to live happily ever after. It's more complex that that. So, discussions like the ones you're having here, paired with positive shifts by the Democratic party's stance on abortion — that, hello, we might want also to focus on reducing the demand for abortion in the first place as a way of saving the babies — are positive steps.
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking along these same lines recently. Although for slightly different reasons. I am the 5th out of 6 children in my family and my Mom once told me that her Dr. told her after the 4th child to 'stop having babies' Boy, I am sure glad she didn't follow that advice :)
ReplyDeleteI am about to give birth any day now (please God any day now!) to my 4th child. Only one of these children was born under spectacular circumstances.
With my first child, I was in my 20's , in a terrible relationship and his dad left us when he was 6 mos. old. My 2nd child, and only girl was born under the best situation. My husband and I were so willing to parent (and seemingly it was NOT going to happen naturally) that we had been going through the adoption process for 2yrs+ with one country closing its adoption services, we finally settled on adopting a foster child(ren). Well, just as we got the notice to meet 2 siblings, I realized that I was 'late' and took a preg test. Positive! Happy! Elated! When I became preg. again 5 mos later with my 3rd, we were kind of freaked out actually but happy to have my little boy. Now, preg again and in my 40s( Which my Dr. is only too happy to point out- all. the. darn. time.) And now, the comments I heard from people when I had 3 have been kicked up a notch so that is annoying on top of everything else. Each of these, out-of-wedlock, babies too close together, being advanced maternal age(as my doc likes to say, grrr) are reasons given for abortion. None of them could ever have been reason enough for me.
You see, with each child, I knew that I would have to seriously lie to myself (by denying their humanity and my maternal relationship to them) in order to bring any harm to them and I couldn't bring myself to do that. And the fact that after first round of freaking out , I knew I already loved each child from the depths of my heart, kept me from 'exercising my right to choose' even though that option was available each time.
Anyways, thank you for sharing your story and allowing me to share mine.
That's radical feminism in a nutshell. Tell girls they can do/be anything while encouraging perpetual victimhood, then attack the one thing we can do that men can't-give birth. Makes LOTS of sense, huh. LOL.
ReplyDeleteI've had similar notions. I'm also perplexed by the way feminism is so very "un-feminine".
ReplyDelete