Sunday, January 22, 2012

Why I Have No Other Choice But To Be Pro-Life...

My mother was a sophomore at the University of Texas at Austin when she discovered she was pregnant with me. She was only 19-years-old and quickly found herself single and her world turned upside down. She moved back to Dallas, where through the help and support of family she was able to raise me, but life was not easy. As a single mom she struggled. We struggled. I grew up knowing how much my life had changed hers, and so never once did I take it for granted. It was 1983 and the option of abortion had long since lost its taboo. I knew that I could have easily been aborted and very few people would have blamed her. On the contrary actually.... many would've praised it as the "responsible" thing to do.

We struggled but there was always more than enough love to go around, and while I don't remember my mother ever pounding the pro-life message into my head, I was living proof of her commitment to it. Here and there she would teach me the value of Life and remind me that no matter how bad things got, God had something amazing in store for me... because after all, I was not "unplanned" to Him.

However, even after all I watched my mother grow through while raising me, at 16 I found myself in an almost identical situation. I was pregnant. I was single. And I was scared.

I was never confused though- at least not when it came to abortion. I KNEW that there was a life, just a valuable as my own, inside of me. I cannot begin to tell you what a comfort it was to not have to even consider that option. It truly removed so much of the "crisis" from my crisis pregnancy. Now I had time to actually evaluate all of my other options and figure out what was best for me and this precious child who in 9-months I was going to be giving birth to no matter what.

For the first 6 months I explored my true options extensively. Was I going to place this baby for adoption, or would the Lord allow me to parent Him? Through much repentance and prayer I decided to raise my son.

It was not easy. And suddenly I found myself in a very grown up world, with a lot of very grown up pressures. Now, because I had a child already, I sometimes made the dire mistake of seeing myself as society saw me- as used goods. And unfortunately, I allowed men to treat me as such. I wanted to be loved and to give my son a normal life and a family, but instead I began allowing the very sin that had caused my crisis pregnancy back into my life. I tell you this because I think many of us have a tendency to look at the woman who has three or four children all by different fathers and think, "What's wrong with you? What part of this aren't you getting?" When in actuality, they have merely gotten trapped in a vicious cycle of compromising who God made them to be and bending to the world's version of normal... all because they desperately want to feel loved and accepted. And in this day and age, we are told that allowing ourselves to be treated as a commodity is the quickest way to get that- even if we are not single mothers (yet). Women today have been sold a bill of goods and because of that evil, evil lie we are in perilous bondage. The exploitation of our bodies and self worth is what leads to the "crisis" of unplanned pregnancy and this oppression must stop if we want to see society change.

By the grace of God and the grace of God only, I did not experience any subsequent pregnancies through my promiscuity, but I know I very, very easily could have.

And Three years later, the Lord brought a wonderful man into my life, who ended up becoming my husband and an amazing father to my son. It was so overwhelming to know that even after all of the poor choices I had made, the Lord never quit pursuing my heart and never stopped trying to get me back on track. God is good. God is SO good.

Pictured: My mother and me on my wedding day.

However, my journey of refinement didn't stop there. A year into our marriage, my husband and I were elated to learn that we were pregnant with a little girl, but the excitement of that moment was short lived. Within seconds of discovering her gender, the sonographer also noticed a spot on her heart. While many people can have this spot, all children with Downs Syndrome do have this spot. My doctor had offered me a blood test a few months prior which would have possibly been able to diagnose Down Syndrome, but to his dismay I turned it down since I knew that no diagnose was going to change my commitment to the little life inside my womb. But because of this, he was constantly reminding me that there was a chance my daughter would have it. Through that pregnancy though, God allowed a really cool thing to husband and I began to realized what a blessing this child would be no matter what. She was fearfully and wonderfully made in God's image. And through declining further testing, my husband and I were able to grow together in our respect for life and our faith in the Lord.

In May of 2006 our daughter was born. She did not have Down syndrome, but I can honestly say that the second the doctor put her in my arms that diagnoses was the furthest thing from my mind. She was perfect no matter what, and her life was of great value no matter what.

I look back and realize how the world could have easily justified killing not only myself, but also my two children. We were the “could've, would've and should've's” of abortion. But through knowing the truth, His truth, even in the face of crisis we were all able to receive the greatest blessing of all- the gift of life. We must never underestimate the power of our actions or our words. My mother taught me how to respect life from a very young age and now she has a legacy that will honor her for generations to come.

Pictured: My blessings.


Post by Destiny


  1. I will comment to say the pregnant 16 year old (you?) also did not face the type of disgrace someone in earlier decades would have faced. Not long ago, just being unmarried and pregnant was a terrible taboo. Thank goodness that has changed. In a way, it has changed because of the need for pro-life families to rally around un-married and teen moms. This wasn't always the case.

  2. I agree. And I must say that is somewhat of a tragedy in itself. Teen pregnancy in general has lost its taboo and become quite normal. I graduated in 2002 and there were (maybe) 5 girls throughout my 3 years of high school who had become pregnant AND chosen life. Last year I heard there were over 40 at my alma mater currently (and believe me, if I thought that meant the abortion rate had gone down, I would be praising God for that number, but I doubt that's the case). Anyway, I almost could not believe my ears so I called to verify and while the receptionist would not officially confirm that number, she said it "sounded about right." Pregnancy is not the problem, it's the symptom of a society that is very broken. And thank God for those pro-life families and volunteers that do work tirelessly to help these young women, it just saddens me that there is such a massive need.

  3. Your children are adorable!

    (I am also glad to know your story!)

  4. I wish more people your age had your integrity. Even when you screwed up in life, you kept your integrity intact. Then there are all the "responsible" people who "made all the right decisions," and their social-climbing closets are filled with the ghosts of their "responsible decisions," haunting them for evermore, if they have consciences.

  5. This is beautiful and so true. My mom chose life for me, as well. She was a bit older (28), but she was unmarried and raised very, very Catholic and when my grandparents found out, my grandfather gave her $200 and told her to "take care of it." They are both very devout and I know in my heart they wanted what was best for my mother at the time. If my mom had been younger and would have really needed my grandparents' help to raise a child, she would likely have been easily swayed.
    But this is why I say there is no real "choice" when it comes to abortion-- most women in these situations are being told by people they love that it's "okay" and that it's what's "best."

    This is a beautiful story. I am now following your blog :)

  6. This is amazing.

    I'm so glad I found this site and group now, I just wish I had found it when I was much much younger.

    God bless you ladies.