The Protestant Pill Predicament

Ask most Protestants when life begins and more than likely they’ll say, "at conception."

Growing up Protestant, I never knew there was anything wrong with birth control, of any kind. As long as it was used within the confines of marriage, it was ok. And not even just that, it was considered "responsible" since it allowed us to space out and control the number of children we had. (We're big fans of the WASPy 2.5 kids thing. They just fit in our sports utility vehicles better that way.)

Now, many times I remember hearing friends spout off about how "God gave us a brain, and when it comes to family planning He intends for us to use it, by golly!" While I agree with that statement, it was obviously meant more as a jab at Catholics who are known for their much larger families- something many outsiders attribute to the natural family planning methods they use...of which I was completely ignorant yet still totally opinionated. Because see, in my faith, you trusted in God... to trust you with the number of kids you thought you should have. Did I fit as many "you's" in there as humanly possible? Hope so.

Anyway, the more involved in the pro-life movement I became the more I actually started learning what these Cathies (who I spent every day but Sunday with) had against the pill. And get this, it pretty much lined up with the same stuff many Protestants claimed to believe as well. It had nothing to do with Mary, or any saints, or their rosaries. It had to do with life beginning at conception, and faithfully trusting in the Lord to provide you with (and for) the size family He intended you to have.

However, it wasn't until years later, while volunteering at a crisis pregnancy center that I truly began to educate myself on the different types of contraceptives as well as abortifacients and abortion procedures. To my dismay, I started noticing an overlap in many of these methods. Take IUD's for example. While many people believe they stop conception because some of them contain a progesterone element, many simply stop implantation of the zygote by irritating the lining of the uterus. Conception (a.k.a. "when life begins") has already taken place, and that little life is just bobbin' around in there waiting to get knocked off by your giant copper womb harpoon.

I remember sitting with a group of ladies at our weekly bible study shortly after making this discovery, when one of them mentioned how her oral contraceptive was affecting her negatively. Before I knew it I was front and center in a real life, cheese ball IUD commercial. The woman next to me starts raving about her intrauterine device and explaining all of its fabulous benefits as the group leans in and listens intently. Seriously, the only thing missing was a monotone voice in the background delivering the laundry list of possible side effects. And as I sat there debating whether or not to jump in, I remembered how another friend recently went in to have hers taken out and discovered she was actually 7 weeks pregnant at the time. No telling what that IUD could have done to her child had it not been removed immediately. Surely this story would allow me to explain exactly how an IUD works without coming off as judgmental or holier-than-thou, right?

Not so much.

As soon as I opened my mouth, I realized these women didn't want to hear it. They knew what they knew because they didn't want to know any better. I was looking at my former self and immediately felt compelled to dig deeper.

After getting all of the facts from my OB/GYN, I went to the director of the Christian crisis pregnancy center where I'd been volunteering and began asking questions about why we gave married women referrals for birth control. She explained that it was a personal choice (hmm, where have I heard that before?) and that she wasn't entirely sure there was anything wrong with chemical contraceptives. Actually, she didn't even realize there might be something wrong with them until I started explaining what my doctor had told me...

Birth control pills are supposed to work by tricking your body into thinking it's already pregnant. And 99% of the time that is effective. However, when it is not, the pill goes on to create a "hostile environment" for the "fertilized egg" (i.e. product of conception, a.k.a "when life begins," b.y.o.b., no don't 'cause you're totally preggers, dude). Not to mention, the Plan B pill, which so many Christians proudly proclaim to be against, is actually just 3 birth control pills taken in a 24 hour window. How can we simply ignore these facts?

Now believe me, I wish they weren't true. I had been on the pill for years and suddenly started wondering if my hostile womb had ever run anyone off. I mean, here I was an avid respecter of life, who was ignorantly dosing my body with an abortifacient. And that's when I got pissed. It can only be a "personal choice" when we're given all the facts, and when it comes to birth control, we certainly are not. I am sick of women being kept in the dark in regards to their bodies. Many of the same lies revolving around abortion can also be applied to contraceptives. It's as though women cannot be trusted with the facts. Because if we have all of the information, we might choose differently, and then no one would be able to control our reproduction anymore. So much for "choice." The decisions have already been made for us. The only thing we're choosing is to remain ignorant.

Here's the deal- sadly, I've come to expect such deceit from the world. But not from my church. As Protestants we must wake up and realize our own hypocrisy. We're propagating a lie by omitting the truth. Either life begins at conception or is doesn't. It’s just that simple. And if it does, than we have some major changes to make.


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~Destiny

"Donations"

Have you ever wondered how Planned Parenthood receives so much money in donations each year? ($212.2 million to be exact)

I mean, they already get $305.3 million from our government annually, so they are hardly a shabby little charity....

I guess I always assumed that donated money must have come from some kooky, rich, confused, old "feminists," but as it turns out, that is not the case at all.

A close friend of mine was telling me that when she found out she was pregnant with her son she had to get an official 'Proof of Pregnancy' document before she would be able to apply for Medicaid...and SURPRISE SURPRISE, PP wasn't giving out any freebies. They told her when she scheduled the appointment to make sure she brought $40 in cash with her to the clinic.

After she was seen and received her p.o.p. she went up to the counter to check out. The woman at the desk proceeded to tell her how much she had saved on this visit because she qualified for some of 'their' generous government grants (part of the $305.3, I'm sure) and that if she hadn't received those discounts (lucky, lucky her) she would have owed PP over $500! But instead, thank the Lord above, her visit today came to just twelve dollars...."oh, and by the way, since you saved SO much money with us today, would you like to make a donation?"

The nerve.

By their own definition they are a NON PROFIT medical facility, there to reach out to POOR WOMEN!

Would a food pantry ever ask you for a donation on your way out the door? I should think not! Or, how about a homeless shelter? I highly doubt it. And why is that?....because they are non-profits....not big businesses.

Hi, My Name Is Kristen, And I’m Abstinent

In case you hadn’t noticed, this is going to be an intensely personal blog post.

I’ll just kick it off with the juicy stuff so you don’t have to wait around: I haven’t had sexual intercourse in almost four years. Now, this is not to say I haven’t done anything I wouldn’t do if Jesus were in the room. I am not perfect. But for the past three and a half years, in the ball park of my love life, there have been no home runs.

I admit I am not a virgin. I am also not sexually repressed. I am not, like the virgin adult character on “Glee,” a frigid obsessive-compulsive with serious psychological problems. I am also not, as far as I know, completely repulsive, although if there’s one thing I’ve learned from observing the world around me, it’s that if you are female, it doesn’t matter what you look like; somebody thinks you are juuuust fine, and that somebody probably has an ad on Craigslist right now.

I simply made a choice, for ethical, moral, and religious reasons, not to engage in baby-making activities, and I have stuck to that decision for well over three years.

You are probably asking yourself, “Self, why on earth is she telling me this?”


Good question. I have thought about writing this post for a couple years. I always held back. It is an intensely personal subject, obviously, and a natural squeamishness about sharing something so intimate with the world at large is part of the reason why it took me so long to publish this.

Then there is the fact that I am in a relationship with someone, and revealing this tidbit about me incidentally reveals things about him. Fortunately, I have learned he “couldn’t care less.” (His words.)

Finally, I decided to go for it. You see, the more I think and write and learn about abortion, the more convinced I am that the key to curtailing it is to make people understand that it doesn’t exist in a vacuum. As long as people are having sex despite the fact that they have no interest in or desire for procreation, there are going to be abortions. And yes, this takes into account contraception. There is no fool-proof method of birth control besides abstinence.

I personally believe that the best way for a child to come into the world is being born to two people who are married — that is, committed to one another in the eyes of God and man. Therefore, I decided, to paraphrase Mahatma Gandhi, that I was going to be the change I wished to see in the world. I was going to put my money where my mouth was and stop engaging in baby-making activities until I was in the situation I felt was best for baby-having activities.

“It’s religion!” some of you are screaming at your monitors, flecks of spittle flying. “It’s an arbitrary misogynistic rule of your stupid backwards dumb antiquated oppressive patriarchal religion!”

First of all: calm down. Second: kind of. I mean, it’s both. Moral law is based on natural law. The reason God gave us all these pesky rules is because they’re good for us. When people follow the basic tenets of Judeo-Christian sexual morality, they lead better lives. They lead lives of loving responsibility in which they react to positive pregnancy tests with tears of joy, hugs, and excited phone calls, as opposed to panic-barfing and fear-sweat.

I know this because I’ve lived the other life. I was never what you’d call promiscuous, but nor was I what you’d call sexually moral. Because of my willingness to give of myself completely to men who weren’t willing to give me the same, I lived a life of heartbreak and confusion. Finally, about four years ago, I noticed that every time I gave my heart away, I wasn’t getting it all back. Every go-round, there seemed to be less and less of my heart to give. I was becoming less open, more guarded, even bitter. I could feel a wall growing around my heart, and it was thick and it was high.

I knew that one day, God willing, I was going to have a husband. Did I want him to end up with the leftovers, the dregs? Did I want him to have to mount a high wall to get to my heart?

Meanwhile, I was quite simply losing my self-respect.

I decided then that I was done with that life. But the personal, emotional factors were only part of my decision.

I am not the world’s most responsible person. Ask the people to whom I owe medical bills. (And while you’re at it, tell them the check’s in the mail.) I forget to floss. I am 300 miles overdue for an oil change. I don’t know my exact bank balance right now. You get the idea.

But even I, the girl who once went a whole year without washing her car, can decide to live in the way I encourage others to live. It’s only fair. I rant at you people day in and day out about how irresponsible it is to engage in non-procreative sex. What kind of a hypocrite would I be if I did it myself?

So, even though my crisis pregnancy days are long behind me, I practice what I preach. I’m 32, I’m in a loving relationship with a stable, responsible man in his 40s, and if I were to get pregnant we would be excited and happy. But! We personally believe having babies should be the exclusive privilege of married people, so we make sure we do not even inadvertently make a baby.

I want you, whoever you are, to see and to know that it is possible to make a moral decision, even in these times. Everything you see and look at and read and hear is going to tell you that it is abnormal and/or impossible for a healthy, red-blooded man or woman to abstain from having sexual intercourse. They are wrong. I am healthy, and last time I checked my blood was red.

Don’t submit to what Chesterton called “the degrading slavery of being a child of [ones] age.” Make your own decisions. Don’t buy the giant lie that if you stop having sex your unmentionables are going to shrivel and drop off from disuse. And don’t believe them when they tell you you’re weird, frigid, sick, or backwards. Even as they accuse you of leading a deprived life, they are a prisoner to their impulses, inviting in unplanned pregnancy, STDs, abortion, heartbreak, loss of self-respect, and more.

I walked away from all that, and I couldn’t be happier because of it. I have felt my heart heal, and I know that the next time I give myself to someone, it will be on my wedding night, to someone I trust, who has given himself to me in turn.

Furthermore, I know that when I do have a baby, it will be in the best possible circumstances, so that I can give that child the best possible life. I owe that to myself and my family.

What I want you to take away from this is not “Oooh, look how awesome Kristen is.” Quite the opposite. I am an ordinary woman with ordinary feelings. What you should take away from this is something like, “Even Kristen can do it. So… I guess so can I.”

Of course the hard part of being abstinent is it means whoever you’re with has to be abstinent, too. But the hard part becomes the easy part with a simple realization. You see, at some point, if you’re lucky, you realize: If the person I am with says he is in love with me, but won’t wait for me, that person is lying. Plain and simple.

I had to ask myself: Do I want to be with someone who will only be with me if I sleep with him? Is that love?

For me, the answer was no. And no.

So what’s your answer?

{republished from LiveAction.}

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Post by Kristen Walker

The Irony of "Life Threatening" Ailments...

As a mother of four I am constantly worried about my children. I have two boys and two girls, and with each of them comes a unique set of worries.

My oldest son for instance has terrible asthma. Cold weather always exacerbates this issue and at times his inhaler is a real life saver. It's so scary to watch his face as he gasps for air, hoping relief will come soon. He was born with this ailment and often the medication used to treat it is very pricey, costing upwards of $80 a pop. Because we're a family on a budget sometimes sacrifices must be made to get him the treatments he requires. But of course we make those sacrifices.

And well, my daughters I'm embarrassed to say, both have a condition called "Vagina." I myself suffer from Vagina, and used to worry that I had passed it on to them, although most medical professionals will refute that myth. But from what I hear (on feminasting.com) it is life threatening as well. See, Vagina is a serious disease that plagues 99.9% of all women... I threw in that decimal just to be safe. And because we were all born with this preexisting condition we are increasingly susceptible to a secondary disease called Heterosexual Coitus- commonly know as Sex. Sex frequently happens to Vagina sufferers, although it is not always fatal. However, a majority of the time it is elective. Heterosexual Coitus is usually something that those living with Vagina choose to contract unlike other ailments such as (the aforementioned) asthma, or cancer, or diabetes. Yet, due to increased pressure from extremist groups throughout (read as: a group of chicks in a basement... and Bill Maher) the federal government is planning on forcing insurance companies to cover the cost of birth control pills for women with Vagina.

Now as someone who herself lives with this condition, you might be surprised to hear that I do not support this mandate. Because the bottom line is that my son can't choose 'not to have asthma.' No, chronic inflammatory disease TRULY threatens his life, and honestly, I find it offensive that his medication is viewed as "optional" whereas chemical contraceptives are being considered a necessity by our federal government. They argue that "poor women cannot always afford birth control pills." Well, what about poor children with respiratory problems? Why won't the federal government force insurance companies to pay for their medication which is much, much pricier? What makes population control, er, I mean, contraception a priority? Never mind. I think I just answered my own question.

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Post by Destiny

You just totally want to hear more about this whole SGK/PP thing, I can tell...

So..... I was uninsured for 4 years. Not because my husband and I didn't work, but because he worked hard, but for a small company with no benefits, and because I worked (hard) as a stay at home mom.

During that time I discovered an abnormality in my lady parts. I was convinced I had cervical cancer, but seeing as I had no insurance it would have been a luxury to verify my findings.

In this day and age, that was just insane to me. But going to an ER would've meant thousands of dollars of debt for my family and going to a OB would've amounted to about the same. I felt as though I had no other choice but to go to Planned Parenthood.

I imagine this is how many women feel.

However, when I considered the prospect of that, this is what I figured... the doctors at Planned Parenthood, the surgical ones at least which would've been the ones checking me out, were more than likely the same ones who provided abortions. So in turn, they were abortionists. And because I am strongly against abortion, in my opinion they were murderers. They stopped human life.

Now I don't know what others think of them... I'm sure many consider them heroes and wonderful people, but since I considered them murderers and nothing was going to change that, I was going to have to let someone who ended human lives put their hands on my body. Honestly, I could not see myself being able to remain composed enough for an exam, let alone any other type of procedure following that.

I know many people will think this is ridiculous, but it is what it is. For me, Planned Parenthood simply wasn't an option.... even though it was my only option.

And I hate that. I hate that PP was my only option. There's nothing pro-choice about having no choice at all when it comes to my health care. But that's precisely the way I felt.

As for the SGK issue, PP only offers manual breast exams NOT mammograms. Let's all go ahead and acknowledge that fact right up front. As far as I can tell, only ONE of their Texas offices (in Waco) even has the actual equipment required to provide thorough screenings.

So honestly, this has nothing to do with abortion or any of the other services they offer, it has to do with breast cancer screenings, and they fact that PP is not doing enough to adequately provide them.

Susan G. Komen stated as much just yesterday in a statement on their facebook page- "At Susan G. Komen for the Cure, the women we serve are our highest priority in everything we do. Last year, we invested $93 million in community health programs, which included 700,000 mammograms. Additionally, we began an initiative to further strengthen our grants program to be even more outcomes-driven and to allow for even greater investments in programs that directly serve women. We also implemented more stringent eligibility and performance criteria to support these strategies. While it is regrettable when changes in priorities and policies affect any of our grantees, such as a longstanding partner like Planned Parenthood, we must continue to evolve to best meet the needs of the women we serve and most fully advance our mission."

This is a good thing. I promise. Women will benefit from these changes. Perhaps we will start getting a higher caliber of care, AND actually have a choice as to who provides it.

If we'd all inform ourselves more I think that fact would become even clearer. Women deserve better....and this provides us with much better choices in the long run. We have to stop letting Planned Parenthood monopolize our health care. We deserve options. This is ultimately the most pro-choice thing for women.

{UPDATE: Scratch that. Looks like we'll still have no choice. #komenforthecave}

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~Destiny

Why I Have No Other Choice But To Be Pro-Life...

My mother was a sophomore at the University of Texas at Austin when she discovered she was pregnant with me. She was only 19-years-old and quickly found herself single and her world turned upside down. She moved back to Dallas, where through the help and support of family she was able to raise me, but life was not easy. As a single mom she struggled. We struggled. I grew up knowing how much my life had changed hers, and so never once did I take it for granted. It was 1983 and the option of abortion had long since lost its taboo. I knew that I could have easily been aborted and very few people would have blamed her. On the contrary actually.... many would've praised it as the "responsible" thing to do.

We struggled but there was always more than enough love to go around, and while I don't remember my mother ever pounding the pro-life message into my head, I was living proof of her commitment to it. Here and there she would teach me the value of Life and remind me that no matter how bad things got, God had something amazing in store for me... because after all, I was not "unplanned" to Him.

However, even after all I watched my mother grow through while raising me, at 16 I found myself in an almost identical situation. I was pregnant. I was single. And I was scared.

I was never confused though- at least not when it came to abortion. I KNEW that there was a life, just a valuable as my own, inside of me. I cannot begin to tell you what a comfort it was to not have to even consider that option. It truly removed so much of the "crisis" from my crisis pregnancy. Now I had time to actually evaluate all of my other options and figure out what was best for me and this precious child who in 9-months I was going to be giving birth to no matter what.

For the first 6 months I explored my true options extensively. Was I going to place this baby for adoption, or would the Lord allow me to parent Him? Through much repentance and prayer I decided to raise my son.

It was not easy. And suddenly I found myself in a very grown up world, with a lot of very grown up pressures. Now, because I had a child already, I sometimes made the dire mistake of seeing myself as society saw me- as used goods. And unfortunately, I allowed men to treat me as such. I wanted to be loved and to give my son a normal life and a family, but instead I began allowing the very sin that had caused my crisis pregnancy back into my life. I tell you this because I think many of us have a tendency to look at the woman who has three or four children all by different fathers and think, "What's wrong with you? What part of this aren't you getting?" When in actuality, they have merely gotten trapped in a vicious cycle of compromising who God made them to be and bending to the world's version of normal... all because they desperately want to feel loved and accepted. And in this day and age, we are told that allowing ourselves to be treated as a commodity is the quickest way to get that- even if we are not single mothers (yet). Women today have been sold a bill of goods and because of that evil, evil lie we are in perilous bondage. The exploitation of our bodies and self worth is what leads to the "crisis" of unplanned pregnancy and this oppression must stop if we want to see society change.

By the grace of God and the grace of God only, I did not experience any subsequent pregnancies through my promiscuity, but I know I very, very easily could have.

And Three years later, the Lord brought a wonderful man into my life, who ended up becoming my husband and an amazing father to my son. It was so overwhelming to know that even after all of the poor choices I had made, the Lord never quit pursuing my heart and never stopped trying to get me back on track. God is good. God is SO good.

Pictured: My mother and me on my wedding day.

However, my journey of refinement didn't stop there. A year into our marriage, my husband and I were elated to learn that we were pregnant with a little girl, but the excitement of that moment was short lived. Within seconds of discovering her gender, the sonographer also noticed a spot on her heart. While many people can have this spot, all children with Downs Syndrome do have this spot. My doctor had offered me a blood test a few months prior which would have possibly been able to diagnose Down Syndrome, but to his dismay I turned it down since I knew that no diagnose was going to change my commitment to the little life inside my womb. But because of this, he was constantly reminding me that there was a chance my daughter would have it. Through that pregnancy though, God allowed a really cool thing to happened....my husband and I began to realized what a blessing this child would be no matter what. She was fearfully and wonderfully made in God's image. And through declining further testing, my husband and I were able to grow together in our respect for life and our faith in the Lord.

In May of 2006 our daughter was born. She did not have Down syndrome, but I can honestly say that the second the doctor put her in my arms that diagnoses was the furthest thing from my mind. She was perfect no matter what, and her life was of great value no matter what.

I look back and realize how the world could have easily justified killing not only myself, but also my two children. We were the “could've, would've and should've's” of abortion. But through knowing the truth, His truth, even in the face of crisis we were all able to receive the greatest blessing of all- the gift of life. We must never underestimate the power of our actions or our words. My mother taught me how to respect life from a very young age and now she has a legacy that will honor her for generations to come.


Pictured: My blessings.

Pinpointing the problem...

Mainstream feminism constantly contradicts itself by asking women to play the role of the weak, ignorant victim whenever it suits their latest argument.

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~Destiny