She always thought Mommy was the prettiest woman in the
world, as they’d lie on the bed basking in the afternoon sun pouring through
the window, she fit so perfectly snug against Mommy’s curves. Mommy turned on
her side one time and her baggy shirt revealed scars on her hips and stomach.
She gently traced them with her fingers and quietly asked, “What are these Mommy?”
After a moment Mommy replied, “Those are my warrior scars, baby… They show the
world that I’ve done one of the toughest things a woman can do, and lived to
tell about it. I brought forth life.” She wanted to be just like Mommy… a
warrior too.
She was seven when that all changed though, as your eyes
fixated on the woman who had just walked into the restaurant. Mommy was too
busy wiping mashed potatoes off baby brother’s hands to notice, but she saw
you. She watched as your eyes follow the woman all the way to her seat, and she
noticed how this woman’s beauty had captivated you. She studied the woman
carefully, noticing the sexy way she dressed even though she didn’t know the
word to describe it at the time. And in that moment she wanted to be just like
her. That woman may not be a warrior, but she had your full, undivided
attention.
After dinner you came back home and began to shuffle through
the monotony… baths, teeth, PJ’s, and bed. After you tucked her in, she laid
awake in her room thinking about the beautiful woman… the way she walked, the
way she dressed, the way she did her hair. She thought about the woman for quite
some time when suddenly she heard you and Mommy arguing down stairs. “What do
you mean it’s overdue… I thought we just paid it!” Mommy’s voice was too quiet
to hear, but she could tell Mommy was crying. She heard you yell, “Well, maybe you should get a job already?” And with
that she was very confused. Mommy was always telling people she had the best
job in the world, taking care of her and little brother… but maybe you didn’t think
so. Maybe you think there’s something better than being a warrior. She wondered
if maybe being beautiful like the woman was better...
She tossed and turned until finally the scary shadows in the
corner got the best of her. She slowly snuck out into the dimly lit hall and
went towards the glow coming from your study. She was drawn to you like a moth
to a flame. She stood in the threshold a moment, gathering the courage to let
you know she was out of bed, then gently pressed the door open, making a creak
and prompting you to immediately close your browser window. But it was too
late. She had already seen what you were looking at… another beautiful woman
with long flowing hair just like the one from the restaurant earlier, again moving
sensually before your eyes. She turned her tiny face up at you and hesitantly
asked, “Daddy, do you think I’m pretty?” to which immediately you replied, “Absolutely,
baby… just like your mommy.”
And in that moment she knew, she didn’t want to grow up to
be a warrior like Mommy, she wanted to be beautiful and sexy like the women she
saw you adore.
Oh. man, can I read this to everyone I see? This applies to everyone, all over the place.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
I had an ache in my heart after I read this because when I was little I found magazines like Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler that my Dad had and those images confused me too!! At 47 years of age I'm still dealing with the fall out from that and I also have an 11 year old daughter that I'm determined to protect from this happening but it is very difficult in our culture today!! I'm thankful for my husband who is aware and is careful not to bring porn into our home but it's hard when sex and woman are portrayed the way they are in everything from tv to magazines etc.!!!!!
ReplyDeleteKristin,
DeleteThank you so much for sharing that, and I'm so glad you and your husband have chosen a better path. And dude, I absolutely agree. Hardcore porn difficult enough to contain, but you're so right, we live in a softcore world where porn is everywhere.
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ReplyDeleteI'm not sure I agree with this. We have Playboy, etc in the house. My husband and I make a point to teach our daughters (all three of them) that beauty comes in many shapes and sizes and it's okay to look at people and appreciate that there is beauty in all walks of life. We don't watch porn in front of them, but we don't hide our playboys in a vault teaching them sexuality is something to be ashamed of, because it's just not. Finding members of the opposite sex attractive is healthy, normal and human. I am a warrior, complete with scars, AND I'm sexy and beautiful. You CAN be both. Do I think porn addiction or lying to your spouse is healthy? Absolutely not. However, that's an extreme. My husband and I have an open dialogue that has included our children (sons and daughters) at an appropriate age with appropriate content. It's also fostered the relationship with our children: when they need birth control, they come to us, when they are uncomfortable about something that's happened to them, they come to us, when their college roommate is raped, they come to us.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if my dad looked at porn, but he did have multiple affairs and he says he divorced my mom for getting fat (after said affairs) but really he has issues beyond us. I don't remember him ever telling me that I was pretty.
ReplyDeleteI hope that my kids NEVER come to me in "need of birth control" because I will talk to them constantly about self respect, staying Holy, respect for others and that a healthy sex life is one of maturity and MARRIAGE. My goodness I am grateful for a loving Christian husband who protects our girls from this garbage. I may have put on some scars and a few pounds since our kids but my girls will always see a man who loves his wife enough to not ogle other women, ever. I am woman, I am strong. I will protect my family. Thank you New Wave for all your blogs and posts.
ReplyDeleteMy father told me I was not pretty because I was not a tall blonde and so on. I remember him telling me to smile at him and when I did, he said "you dont even have dimples".
ReplyDeleteI knew I looked like my mother and I knew he did not think her pretty. None of us looks like those ladies in those magazines and sometime around 14, I stopped even making an effort to do so. He wanted me to wear mini-skirts and bought me make-up and shoes with heels I found hard to walk in.
He always said he would have a hard time finding somebody to marry me: not pretty, too skinny, brainy and I can't even cook.
Well, I AM brainy and looked for a husband all by myself. My husband knows I am a warrior. I survived a pretty interesting birth (4 days...) and lived to tell the tale. I have a c-section scar and claim it is a honorable scar.
I have a daughter we raise to be a Warrior Princess: you can wear a pink ribbon in karate class, it does not keep you from kicking. You can have glittery ponies and ride to battle. A sword and a skirt go together well, ask any Scot.
Brainy, no longer skinny, an awesome cook, beautifull and a warrior.
Powerful!
ReplyDelete