Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Maybe some women don't heal through shouting...

I know we're supposed to see these women using the #ShoutYourAbortion hashtag and feel one of two ways- either proud of their boldness or angry at their callousness.

But I don't feel either of those things.

I just kinda want to take them all out for coffee and let them know that if they need to "shout it" and surround themselves with other women who are saying abortion is okay, then I totally understand that. Reading through these tweets, I don't get the sense that most of these stories are coming from a place of pride. I think a lot of these women have probably been holding onto their abortions for awhile now not really knowing how to feel about them. The world tells us abortion's no big deal, but very few women actually choose to abort lightly, so somewhere deep down most of us know it is… something. We don't think twice about getting a root canal or removing our appendix, but a majority of women lament at least a little bit about whether or not to choose abortion.

And when you come out on the other side of that choice, having made a decision that cannot be undone… well, I guess I'd probably be doing the same exact thing. I'd want to find a community of women who also aborted and think it's okay and more importantly who would reassure me that what I did was okay. And I probably wouldn't want to have it festering inside me either. I'd want to 'shout it out' as well.

But if you've done all this tweeting and shouting, and still find that you're struggling with your abortion, please know that I love you. I truly, genuinely care about your happiness and wellbeing. As a feminist I don't want to see a woman living under any type of oppression, whether it's societally inflicted or emotional and self-induced. So if you do struggle with a past abortion, and have yet to make peace with it, please please please reach out to me. I'd love nothing more that to help you find healing so you can live a life free from that bondage.

And if that's not you, if you're someone who chose abortion and think it's the best decision you ever made, I want you to know that I Iove you too. This isn't about guilting or shaming anyone, it's just about letting women who don't handle things in the same way know that there are other options when it comes to processing a past abortion. Pro-choice can't just apply to ending a pregnancy. Women need to know there are also alternative ways to deal with the emotions left after they've terminated.


  1. Love love love this! Shout THIS from the rooftops!

  2. I love what this is saying about supporting people through difficult situation because thats what love is whether you agree with them or not. I think the part that is missing is that abortion is still wrong and that is why people do struggle. We don't struggle with root canals because dental surgery does not kill a living person. Salvation is found in Christ alone no matter what support you get though. Jesus washes away our sins and cleanses our entire being. We are born again. We often get caught up in trying to save the unborn and forget about the hurting women in the process. That needs to stop and feminists would be in a great place to help with that. Christian feminism is not progressive feminism though. It is a feminism that still is fundamental in faith. Fundamental in belief. Loves like Jesus loves.

  3. I loved reading this. I had an abortion many years ago. "Shouting my abortion" does not seem healing for me. I'm not proud of it and if I could I would go back and make a different choice. Many pro life people do forget about the mother who is hurting. They love the unborn baby but don't care about the traumatized mother. I was on the fence about abortion until I had one. After that day I became very much pro life. I am happy to see the love of Christ being shown here.

  4. I enjoyed reading your post and am struck by the many couples who actually consider abortion a form of birth control. A healthy mother's body ravaged by a procedure meant to kill the marvelous human growing inside can never be okay.