Friday, February 1, 2013

Putting A Face On Fauxminism

C'mon, you'd wanna stay up late messaging this guy too, right?

I knew better, I did. But y'know, sometimes you just take the troll bait because you're lying in bed trying to go to sleep when your phone pings at you. And so I did. Like an idiot. 

It was a message from (what appeared to be) some dude, thanking me for shitting all over the people who are fighting the patriarchy. I replied, "anytime." Mostly because I fight disrespect with disrespect. One of my many human flaws. But he messages me back right away. Of course. They always do. This time it was some long diatribe about fetuses just being a clump of cells and blah, blah, blah, womyn, blah. Nothing new. I write back (and this is where I went wrong) with facts and reason which only engages or rather enrages web warriors such as himself even more. 

And then I went to sleep. 

...Because see, I had been in Austin all day testifying before the state's senate finance committee about how uninsured women in Texas need better healthcare options...or as I like to call it, actually doing something for women other than swearing at people on the internet like a stupid slacktivist. 

So sleep I did. Kinda.

And then of course I woke up to yet another long, rambling message about how the Bible and religion teach people to hate women....not that I ever brought EITHER of those up, but whatev. Guess he couldn't see his screen clearly through all the dumps people like me take on courageous internet patriarchy fighters like himself. Oh well.

Once again, I take full responsibility. I took the bait. 

I politely inform him this is probably not the page for him, thank him for the feedback and bow out. At which point he does something not at all surprising. He hissy-fits in one last "almost a zinger if it wasn't already a bumper sticker AND T-shirt" and tells me, that "this what feminism looks like." Dude, that peeved me in a way that I can only be peeved when someone says something so mouth breather-y I don't even know how to respond to it. Because it was just so cliche...and dumb, and had he even read a single thing I wasted my time explaining to him? I'm not your life coach, fool. It's not my job to break things down for you and get you to think outside of whatever community college box your brain's stuck in. I explained it, you ignored me, and then what? All I get is an Ashley Juddism?

So fine, whatever. I decide to go see what a real feminist looks like. And there it was, in all its glory. Turns out, he's a 20-something androgynous male who likes to take bird flippin' selfies in his mom's bathroom mirror while wearing feminist symbol half shirt tank tops. Suddenly, my annoyance melted into utter delight as I thought "yeah, that is what a feminist looks like." Which is exactly why we're here. 

Next blog: "Dear Gawd What Have We Done To Our Men?!?"