Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Let's Talk About Sex (without having a) Babe-y...

Enjoy that ear worm, suckers!
BC. Birth control. The Pill. My three older sisters all took it, the promiscuous girls in high school took it and even the virgins took it for their cramps and acne.
…And then there were those who didn’t take it, the Catholics. With their 15 passenger vans and Costco cards, Catholics seemed to be the only people I knew who weren’t on “The Pill.” I mean it was obvious that they were over zealous religious freaks, right? Who in their right mind would subject themselves to a van-load of screaming children when all you had to do to prevent it was pop a few pills?
My plan was always to hop on oral birth control as soon as I got married. It made perfect sense. I was an aspiring actress, living in Hollywood and no way was I ready for a snot-nosed kid to steal my limelight.
Then it happened… My husband (fiancĂ© at the time) got involved in the pro-life movement. He began to meet people who opposed oral contraceptives, some of whom weren’t even Catholic! Now, if you know anything about my husband, you would know he loves his “research” (most people would call it Google-ing). Night after night, book after book, article after article he built his case until it was complete. Or so he thought. I was stubborn, there was no way he was going to rip apart my dreams because of a couple of Google searches. Sure his facts were accurate and yes I knew my choice may be selfish, but everyone else was doing it. Things didn’t click until a big blow out in the car when he yelled at me: “We can’t call ourselves pro-life if we use birth control!”
Hold tight, I know I am losing you, please hear me out. We aren’t crazy and we aren’t Catholic, we just saw the facts and realized we knew too much.
Welcome to oral contraceptives for dummies as explained to me:
Hormonal birth control works one of the three ways, as listed below. It attempts to do #1 every time and #2 and #3 serve as a back up in case one or the other fails. 1.) Attempts to prevent the woman from ovulating. 2.) Thickens the cervical mucus in an attempt to prevent sperm from getting to the ovary. 3.) Prevents a fertilized egg from attaching to the uterine wall by thinning the lining. This ends the life of the newly fertilized egg.
#3 is what makes the pill an abortifactant (anything that causes abortion). It kills the newly formed life. I'm sure you are asking yourself "how often could #3 really happen?" Well, we have all heard or met someone who got pregnant while on the pill right? That means #1, #2 and #3 all failed. There is no accurate percentage of how often #3 takes place, but the fact of the matter is it happens and it is NOT beyond your control.
Now, if I am prolife and truly believe life begins at conception how could I, with clear conscious, take birth control?
I knew too much, the choice was obvious. Now came the time for me to confront those 3 scary letters, NFP. Every woman I met who did Natural Family Planning was either newlywed and pregnant or had 4 kids or more. With those three letters I saw my acting career swirl round and round as it went down the toilet.
I didn’t trust it. Neither did my family, in fact they thought I was crazy. I remember my brother-in-law made a joke talking to my 1 year old niece just after our wedding: “Do you see Auntie Dan and Uncle Josef? They are going to have a little cousin for you to play with in nine months. ”
I could just see it nine months later, I would be with a baby in my arms and my brother-in-law saying, “I told you so.”
I had no choice though, I knew what I knew now and I began to prepare myself for NFP. I bought books and iPhone apps, but still felt lost and unprepared. The word “charting” made me feel like I was back in high school and gave me the same stomach-turning feeling “chores” did back in the 4th grade.
This was supposed to be a glorious moment in my life, I was going to be having sex for the first time in my 24 years on this planet… but it now came with a chart telling me if it was OK, and my temperature was just right and all the planets were perfectly aligned.
I thought waiting was the hard part? I mean it’s 2013 why are we still charting?
It was now my turn to do some “research” and that meant Facebook messaging every Catholic woman I knew. Well, two women to be exact. The first told me about charting and the other introduced me to a fancy new device called: Lady-Comp.
According to her, the Lady-Comp is a small electronic charting device with a built in thermometer. She explained that she had been using it for three years and it was 100% accurate for her. She also made sure to note that it was a bit pricey, but worth every penny.
My husband and I are what you would categorize as “cheap bastards.” So of course I had to Google it, like we do with anything worth over $3 in value. Plenty of info popped up. I found some great tutorial videos and saw that it had 4 ½ stars from 62 reviews on Amazon, but that’s not what sold me. I was sold when I saw that a German company made it in Germany.
Think about it, BMW’s are made in Germany, this thing had to be legit! But I didn’t exactly hit the gas when I saw the $500 price tag. So I got my calculator out and realized that most women spend between $2,000-4,000 on a ten-year supply of birth control. The Lady-Comp was guaranteed to last at least ten years, though I suspect it will last even longer.
Three months before our wedding my husband and I decided to pool the cash we had and buy a Lady-Comp. I was like a kid on Christmas morning when it came in the mail. It is a sleek device with a small display.
I began to use it immediately and found that it only took 30 seconds of my day. It has a built in alarm that reminds me to take my temperature. After doing so it flashes either a red, yellow or green light. Green indicates “go for it” you aren’t fertile, yellow means it’s not sure, pump the breaks and red means “stop” you’re prime for a baby. Needless to say my husband often finds himself singing the song “Green light” by John Legend (we swear that song was written about the Lady-Comp).
Statistically, Lady-comp is more effective than oral contraception at 99.3% accuracy. It seems odd to me that in a day and age where you feed organic pet food to your dog, you would shove synthetic hormones down your throat every morning.
After a while I began to notice a pride that came with knowing about my cycle. I know more about my body than my Crossfit, vegan friends and it is kinda sexy. 
It has now been 13 months of doing what newlyweds do, without a hiccup. There are times when we have to wait as many as 12 days before we get a green light, but it has taught us the responsibility that comes with sex-- even for a married couple. The Lady-comp has been amazing for us, so much so that I feel the need to share it with the world. Any time we have guests over, or go out to dinner with friends I find myself going on and on about my Lady-Comp. My husband had to stop me when I did it to his single, male, 27 year old friend just the other night.
Now I leave it to you. Whether you hadn’t put too much thought into BC, or just realized straight up NFP wasn’t your thing, I hope that the Lady-Comp proves a viable option.
For more info on this nifty little device, click here http://www.raxmedical.com/

Get a room!
Post by Josef and Danielle Lipp... who weren't paid one single red cent by Lady-comp for this glowing endorsement, but probably should've been.


  1. Love the post, but I have an aesthetical complaint... it's a bit difficult to read the post with the gray background and the dark gray font.

  2. What's your opinion on mirena? It's an IUD.

    1. Hey Alayney, I wrote about IUD's and other BC awhile back... http://newwavefeminists.blogspot.com/2012/03/protestant-pill-predicament.html

    2. IUDs cause silent abortions and cause you to get infections, ectopic pregnacies. Anything with hormones can cause cancer.

      The best way for spacing is ecological breastfeeding. The purpose of marriage is for love and children, not about self-indulgence.You have the opportunity and grace to truly learn how to love like God does, when you have children. The time before children is truly boring.You will see!

  3. Thanks!! The timing on this post is amazingly perfect. My daughter is 6 months old and my husband and I are just starting to talk about BC and how long to wait until the next one. Neither of us likes the idea of hormonal birth control, so we'll definitely look into this!!

  4. This is a fantastic post. My husband and I (yes, a couple of those Catholic folk) have been practicing NFP for almost 4 years. We postponed pregnancy for 3 1/2 years before conceiving our first child, proving (to us at least) that with discipline NFP can be 100% effective, both in preventing and in getting pregnant. Congratulations on your marriage and good luck in your family planning!!

  5. There is some math here about #3 that is pretty interesting http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/2012/10/how-i-lost-faith-in-the-pro-life-movement.html (section titled: "The Biggest Killer: A Woman’s Own Body")

    1. You're comparing apples to oranges. That linked blog compared using contraceptives against using no form of family planning whatsoever. That is not what natural family planning is about. NFP is so reliable because it's about periodic abstinence. No sperm. No embryo created. No death due to lack of implantation. That blog criticized pro life groups for doing nothing about the natural deaths that occur preimplantation, but that's precisely what we are doing here. Empowering women by showing them that they don't have to assume the risks of taking carcinogenic chemicals that can harm their newly formed child or be a slave to their uterus and fertility. And while this product mentioned in this blog sounds neat, fertility awareness is FREE. We don't need the savior Obama and his "free" birth control.The blog states that the. Writer believes pro life leaders only want to punish women for having sex, I contend that leaving women scared and ignorant of how their bodies function and pressuring them to pay for poison that is unreliable and leads to unintended pregnancies is punishing women for having sex. I think the writer has it twisted.

  6. #3 is only true of pregestogen-only pills (with the exception of Cerazette). The combined pill works by method #1 with 2 as a back-up.
    See https://www.cmf.org.uk/publications/content.asp?context=article&id=1143

  7. My wife and I use NFP, the Billings Ovulation Method to be precise. It's free and very easy. I think you also need to point out something about the 12 day break. First, that's very long. We've never had to wait more than a week. Second, the first time after one of those breaks make it well worth the wait. What nobody seems to talk about when discussing birth control or NFP is that your sex life using NFP is often WAY BETTER!

  8. I'm kind of surprised no one's mentioning condoms. I don't want to risk a life either (no BC or IUD for me either) but just not having sex for an extended period of time (12 days?!) when condoms are an option doesn't really make sense to me.

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