Thursday, March 7, 2013

This might as well be a Taylor Swift song....

{Editor's note: Because it's so sweet. Not because the dude does her wrong in the end. Anyway, the following is by the fabulous, hilarious, oh, and we can't forget brilliant Danielle Lipp....}

"Did you kiss yet?"

“No, not yet”

“When does this start to get creepy?"
I was just shy of 21, talking to an old friend when this phone conversation took place. The whole "waiting thing" was cute when I was in high school but as I got older I started to feel like I had a third arm growing out of the side of my head when I told people. In fact, I am certain there were some who thought I was a lesbian. It wasn't just my kisses that waited, sex would wait as well until I was married. 
No really, I waited and it was great. I didn't acquire a ton of emotional problems (at least not ones I didn't already have), no STD's, and I never had to debate getting an abortion.
Aloha, my name is Danielle, and I’m a newlywed from Hawaii (I never know how to say that without sounding like I'm a spoiled brat, oh well). I’m a pastor's daughter, the youngest of four girls. And as you could probably already tell I'm not your typical pastor's daughter, well at least I don’t strip on the weekends.
{Editor's note: Wait Danielle, you strip M-F? You really should've told us that *before* we let you write a blog.}
I was 21 when I had my first kiss, it was to my boyfriend Josef (who is now my Husband). To relieve you from your complete shock, let's go back a bit.
I know, it's hard to believe she's a virgin in this pic because of the sheer hotness here,
but trust.
In 2000, I started praying for my husband. My prayer was that I wouldn’t have to date my entire youth group to get to him and that he would be my first and only kiss. Fast forward to late September 2008, I walked into church late, and little did I know what God was doing in that service. They say love is blind and if that's the case I would've walked right into a brick wall. And then that wall chased after me hard. Even though I swore he would make someone else very happy it only took four months until we became "official," and I had my first boyfriend.

Our first Valentine's Day I gave him my first kiss. I was 21 and self taught by way of Titanic and The Notebook. God has the best sense of humor being that my first kiss would be with a guy who had the last name Lipp. I had planned on waiting until may wedding day, but it was either a confidence in my to be husband, or the fact that I was an aspiring actress with no money for acting classes that I decided to plant one on him. It was refreshing to be a "rookie." To know that if I drooled too much, or jammed my tongue down his throat it was because of a lack of experience. And that's a good thing.

I will forever cherish the day, on September 24th 2011 when I thought I was reading for an audition but I was in fact offered my most important role yet, the proposal to be his wife.

I can't wait to tell our children one day that their Daddy is the only man their Mom ever kissed and that she planned, or shall I say "prayed" it that way. He always asked me what made him stand out and why I chose him to be my first everything. The only answer I could give him is that he was the only man that LOVED Jesus more than me. I loved that the first time he picked me up there was worship music playing in his car. Or when we were watching Never Been Kissed (an aptly named gift he brought) and the banana scene came on, he fast forwarded it. I loved that I didn't have to invite him to church... he invited himself. I love that he was the first one to text, call and add me on myspace (strange how saying that makes me feel old).

He showed me what it felt like to be pursued, what it looked like to be a man, and defied my belief that I would never fall for a jock. There have already been bad and ugly times in our marriage but I know it will all be worth it when we are sitting together at our children's wedding one day like both of our parents did at ours.

I don’t know if you guys who are reading this are anything like some (not all but some) of my friends and are eagerly asking “Ok great good for you for waiting, but how was the sex?”
{Editor's note: Yes. Yes, we are.}
The first time I cried. Not because it hurt, even though it did. It was emotional on a level I never expected because of this new intimacy combined with my dream coming to fruition. As amazing as it was I see it different now, Yes it is amazing, but no it won't pay our bills, stop a fight, or make my husband love me more. I realize now I worshipped sex before I had ever even had it. It was synonymous with marriage to me. It was going to fix our problems and make us happy, and while it can at times take care of the happy part, sex is such a small part of our relationship. What it is for us is the cherry on top. It is a blessing, it's a gift, it's a means to which we can create the 7 kids my husband thinks we will have (Lord, I pray you choose a nice easy number like 4).
{Editor's Note: Oh, FOUR is easy, Danielle? Really? So I'm just sitting here editing your post with a baby literally sitting on the side of my head like a spider monkey because four is such a day at the spa? You think I'm playin' girl? Shoooooo, I ain't playin.... proof, in 5...4....3...2...1...
Danielle Lipp's definition of a cake walk
....but whatever, I'll let's get back to your story, and I'll also be praying that you do get those four..... *cough*sets of triplets*cough*}
Even though I had my own lessons to learn, God mapped things out accordingly. It wasn't easy to wait, it was hard... really hard. There were plenty of awkward moments, disappointed guys and dry lips. But what was the point if I wasn't going to marry them? I know the fact that I waited doesn't make me any better than anyone who didn't. I can just attest that it was easier for me in the end.
The too cute couple, Danielle & Josef. Josef's the one on the left, by the way.
It's the way God designed it, it's the way that works. It's definitely not what you will see on TV and goes against many of today's norms but it in a way keeps your heart in tact. You don't leave a piece of it here, a piece with him there. It's yours to share with one person. I know the whole "not kissing thing" is a bit much for many of you but I can only say this. I wouldn't change a thing if I could go back. In fact, if I had the chance I would have waited for my wedding day. 
Danielle Lipp is the project manager for I am Whole Life
{Final Editor's Note: Danielle shared this little tidbit with me in confidence, so I'm sure she wouldn't mind me blabbing it with the whole internet, but she was obsessed with kissing growing up. As is my 6-year-old daughter who talks about it non-stop because Disney has temporarily lobotomized her. Some girls are just extra romanticy like that, I suppose. Anyway, I tell you this, Internet, to help put into perspective why kissing was off limits for her.... and hopefully will be with my daughter until she's married too (hey, a mom can hope, right?), because for some people first base is more intimate than all the bases. and a home run. and a Denny's Grand Slam. I mean, I can get seriously intimate with a Grand Slam, y'all. Don't judge.}
{FINAL, Final (seriously, this time) Editor's Note: Since I know there are those people/commenters/trolls out there who will jump on to say this is totally "slut shamy," as is evidently everything we do over here at NWF according to them ("Did you see the way those New Wave Feminists were all like brushing AND flossing their teeth?" "Girl, yeah, seriously, they just can't stop slut shaming us"), let me just stop ya right there. As DLipp points out, it ain't easy being easy. Not because of all the {{{SHAME}}} we're sending adolescent girls through the internet, but because a lot of women, myself included, regret their slutliciousness at some point. But it's also not easy being chaste either, and this post is to encourage those who take the road less traveled...which I imagine can feel pretty lonely when all the rest of your generation is out dancing on bars.} 

14 comments:

  1. As a father of 4 daughters myself I pray so hard that my daughters will take a similar path.

    It's my job to be the brightest light of what being a real man is all about. In doing so I hope to help set their standards as high as possible. I want to weed out the men who want to take advantage and I want to help develop them into women who don't want to take advantage of men.

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  2. Danielle, this is a lovely story I hope more girls live out :)

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  3. Really enjoyed this thanks for sharing!
    We are raising our eight children to wait and to strongly keep marriage in mind. What they choose as adults will be up to them and we will totally respect them as individuals when that time comes, but we have a job to do and part of that job is to tell them how to avoid STD's and unplanned/unmarried pregnancy with 100% certainty, and that means abstaining.
    I hope they learn, whatever they choose, immense respect for others and themselves. We feel that it's not just an issue of "purity" or personal safety. Who you have a child with is the most important decision of ones life and of a child's life. And you have much smaller power over that if you aren't abstaining from sex.

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  4. I made a promise to myself to never tell a guy I loved him until I was sure we were going to get married. That way, only my husband would ever hear those words from me. My husband and I both saved our bodies and hearts for marriage, and it was SO WORTH IT.

    Despite all the teasing and razzing we both endured, we're the ones who get to have all the guilt-free sex minus the STDs, crisis pregnancies and mind games (Did I seem too clingy at breakfast?, Was he comparing me to his previous partners?, etc.). It's pretty dang hot!

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  5. Wonderful article and one I plan to share. I raised my BOYS to live their lives the same way so that when they found the one that God had for them they could come to their marriage without regret. My older son and his wife were married in July and are having their first child in April (planned pregnancy?--I have no doubt! They wanted to "get their lives started"). They are so happy and adorably cute. My younger son is still in high school and likes a girl but they have decided to be friends--not "boyfriend/girlfriend," not only because he's not allowed to have a girlfriend in high school (brain isn't even fully developed and we expect kids to make good relationship decisions without guidance?), but because they want the FRIENDSHIP to be the most important thing between them. With friendship there is less drama and little pressure; it is just about getting to know a person and living the lessons of being kind. I'm proud of my sons. WAITING WORKS!

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  6. BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN
    Why American men should not marry American women

    http://boycottamericanwomen.blogspot.com/

    I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don't know how to cook or clean, don't want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?

    American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.

    This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.

    I encourage ALL American men to NEVER MARRY American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.

    Tens of millions of American men have had their lives completely destroyed by American women through the following crimes:

    1. False rape accusations (it has been proven that up to 80 percent of rape accusations are FALSE)

    2. False domestic violence (DV) charges (same as above, and up to 40 percent of domestic violence victims are MALE, with their female partners INITIATING the violence)

    3. False sexual harassment charges

    4. Financial destruction of men in divorce courts through alimony and support payments (women get up to 95 percent of their ex-husband's income and savings, as well as the house, car, etc)

    5. Emotional destruction of men by ex-wives who have stolen their children from them and forbidden the fathers from having custody or contact with their own children

    6. Divorced dads who commit suicide as a result

    A few more reasons to stay away from American women?

    -25 percent of American women take psychiatric drugs for mental illnesses.
    -25 percent of women under the age of 30 have at least one STD.
    -85 percent of divorces in America are INITIATED by women, thus women are responsible for the vast majority of divorces.
    -70 percent of criminals in America were raised by single mothers, thus feminism is responsible for most crime in America.
    -The majority of child molestation, child abuse, and child murder in America is done by WOMEN.
    -American women are NINE TIMES more likely to murder their own children than the biological father

    Another thing I noticed, is that whenever you bring up the topic of American men marrying asian women in front of an American woman, she will make some racist and hateful comment about asian women, calling them "slaves" or "mail order brides". My question is this: If American women are so "independent", "confident", "strong", and "empowered" like they claim to be, why do they feel threatened by Asian women? Why are American women so jealous towards Asian women? The real reason is this- Asian women are 1000 times superior to American women, and any American man who has dated/married an Asian woman will tell you this.

    If you want to get married, find a nice foreign girl from Asia, or South America, or Russia/Eastern Europe. DO NOT MARRY AN AMERICAN WOMAN UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!

    Over 50 percent of American women are single, without a boyfriend or husband; so the fact is most American men no longer want to marry American women. Let these worthless American women grow old living alone with their 10 cats.

    American women are living in their own pathetic little fantasy world, where they think they are a perfect little princess. Sorry, but you are NOT a perfect little princess.

    Give American women the husband they deserve- NONE!

    BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN!

    Sincerely,
    John Rambo, Anti-feminist Soldier
    John.Rambo@crimesagainstfathers.com

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    1. Yes, please do boycott us.

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    2. Have fun growing old alone with your 10 cats or becoming a lesbian. I doubt many real men (only the pathetic emascualted beta male manginas) want anything to do with bitches like you.

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    3. Ha! You wish.

      I have an amazing, hilarious, intelligent, hard working, brilliant & smokin' hot husband, 4 amazing children, and no cats. I mean, technically two live here, but they're my husbands (must be because he's such a mangina, right?). Oh well, I'm just not a big cat person, or er, lady.

      You though sir, are a hoot!

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    4. Oh John Rambo...I DIED reading this! Seriously, very very funny. I'm guessing it's either a great piece of irony or....you were very very hurt by someone, in which case I'm really sorry.

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    5. OH HOW CUTE! POOR WITTLE BABY IS UPSET BECAUSE MEN ARE BOYCOTTING HER!! BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!

      Over 50 percent of American women are single, without a boyfriend or husband, so the fact is, MOST MEN DO NOT WANT YOU WORTHLESS AMERICAN WHORES ANYMORE!

      You still have two options though:

      1. become a lesbian

      or

      2. get used to living alone with your ten cats

      THOSE ARE YOUR TWO OPTIONS, WHORE!

      As for us American men, we are sick of you and millions of us are marrying foreign women. I married a nice young asian girl, and I would NEVER even think about touching one of you disgusting American women ever again. Asian women are 1000 times better than you, this is why so many American guys are rejecting you and going for asian women.

      Have fun growing old alone with your 10 cats, whore.

      Sincerely,
      John Rambo, Anti-feminist Soldier
      John.Rambo@crimesagainstfathers.com

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  7. I loved reading this post by the way! I also waited for my first kiss till I was 25 (!) and also felt the "third arm syndrome" around other people. Actually the guy I plan on marrying and I both had our first kiss around December of last year, and we're very happy that we can say that to our kids too.

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  8. Hahaha. I'm sorry. But is that guy's name really John Rambo? And he's an anti-feminist Soldier? But, yes. I like Asian women a lot. I grew up in a community with a strong asian influence, and I really liked it. I got to learn about cultures that are very different from my own all throughout my childhood, and I feel like it's made me much more accepting of cultural differences. make
    I wish, though, for your sake, John, that you would not make such broad statements about us. No one is perfect. No one culture is perfect. I would not have called myself a feminist before I found this group of women - a feminist way of thinking that does NOT tear men down, but wants to make them stronger by recognizing that our roles as women are instituted by God, and that our only real power lies in service, and in carrying out His will. THAT is the same for men. What men should be, anyway.
    I was raised by a single father who experienced a fair amount of discrimination from the army of Moms in the PTA at my elementary school when I was a child. All because my mom was addicted to drugs, and had a mental illness, my dad saved me from her destructive behavior, and raised two young children without a wife. He wanted to be involved in our education, and tried to attend school meetings, but they shut him out because he was the only man there, and it was a "wives" club. He was not welcome. He got a lot of crap from women, like it was his fault that he was a single dad, and to be frank, it made me ashamed to be a woman. But I am not inherently bad because my mother was sick and absent, or because other women misjudged and mistreated my father. We are all fallen here. And we are all trying to live a life deserving of the grace we've been given, in spite of our natures.
    I hope you find the woman that God wants for you, but more importantly, I hope that God prepares your heart so that you'll be ready to receive her as the gift that she is, and honor her as Christ does the church (holy, though it contains nothing but sinners). I will pray for you, okay? You and each man - that in these times, he might find courage to be the kind of servant leader that he was made to be. And also that we, as a people, will begin to recognize the inherent, divine worth of every human being, and the strength in the roles that we've been given. Pray for us women, too.

    With Love,
    Sarah

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    1. Sarah... are you for real?

      You do realize that Jesus never existed, right? That there is not one single piece of historical evidence to prove that he ever existed? Not one single scholar/historian from that period mentioned even a single word about Jesus.

      www.jesusneverexisted.com

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